I found myself in Illinois for the first time in my life 2 years ago. At the time I really needed a fresh start after my marriage fell apart, and Chicago seemed like a good place to do it. I know that lawyers are supposed to be robots and not allow personal lives to interfere with their careers, but I’m only human. I make mistakes. So there I was living in a strange city licensed to practice law in 3 other states, with few friends, a gaping hole on my resume, a transient background that could not be explained without delving into personal relationships, and not much else.
Even with 3 bar licenses, I had to work really hard to get work through a temporary agency here. I think everyone just assumes that you can walk into an agency and be making money the next day, and in some markets that is true but not here. I registered with 13 different agencies (the ones that actually responded to my resume submission, many didn’t), and then I called and/or emailed them every single day for 3 months to get work. I was a real pest. Eventually just sort of starvation, I was offered a low paying 2-3 week assignment as a contract attorney. I took it anyway because I needed the money. Two years later, I am in the same position. I now make more money than most of the people I know who have permanent positions which sadly isn’t saying much nowadays. I feel very fortunate.
I am not a contract attorney because I’m lazy or incompetent but because it’s the best thing for me to be right now. Since I graduated 4 years ago, I have watched many on my friends become disillusioned with the law and leave the practice entirely. It saddens me to see brilliant young legal minds beaten down so early in their careers, saddled with insurmountable debt, with their dreams shattered. Sometimes they burn out, sometimes they get laid off, or sometimes they are outright fired. They usually work in jobs doing something they don’t like in areas they avoided in law school that won’t prepare them to do what they really want when they leave. So I wonder if I’m really in worse position because I have been working as a contract attorney?
I have a steady paycheck with insurance, 401k, and paid holidays and vacations. At 30, I make a comfortable living. I have a great apartment. I can pay my bills. My life is totally flexible. I can spend as much or as little time as I want pursuing outside interests, attend bar association activities, and take time off to go on job interviews. After being here for a year, I made the decision to take the Illinois bar and was able to do so because of the flexibility of temping.
Yes, I get frustrated at times by the boring and monotonous work. I know that I am capable of doing so much more, and I would love to have a real opportunity to do so. I have to remind myself of that frequently. Whenever I am asked for the name of my law firm or for my business address, I have a sudden feeling of shame and urge to explain the nature of my work or talk about my big plans for the future. I have attended pro bono fairs attempting to volunteer only to be asked about my firm’s resources and my practice areas. Moments like this make me feel that I am not a real lawyer and can't even give my services away. I have to stop myself and remember that I am a lawyer. I went to law school. I am admitted to 4 bars. I graduated from a highly regarded law school in the top third of my class with numerous honors and accolades. I am just as capable of providing legal services as the people making $100k+ at big firms or any other attorney for that matter. I have to remember that this job is not the end only the means.
I am making my way in life, paying down my student loans, and spending every minute of my spare time following developments in the law and making myself a better lawyer. I should not really be ashamed of this, but I feel like the scourge of the legal profession. I have seen others leave contract work to pursue much lower paying opportunities in practice areas they don’t really enjoy because they are willing to do anything to get “a year of experience" because of the stigma of contract work. I talk to my coworkers who all feel pressure to do the same. Maybe my attitude is different because I actually practiced law before becoming a temp, but I think that experience is only really experience if it is helping to prepare you for the job that you want. I don’t think it would be fair the firm, my clients, or myself to take a job that I don’t feel comfortable doing. I have to trust my instincts, and for now I will continue doing what I’m doing. After all I’m only 30.
Even with 3 bar licenses, I had to work really hard to get work through a temporary agency here. I think everyone just assumes that you can walk into an agency and be making money the next day, and in some markets that is true but not here. I registered with 13 different agencies (the ones that actually responded to my resume submission, many didn’t), and then I called and/or emailed them every single day for 3 months to get work. I was a real pest. Eventually just sort of starvation, I was offered a low paying 2-3 week assignment as a contract attorney. I took it anyway because I needed the money. Two years later, I am in the same position. I now make more money than most of the people I know who have permanent positions which sadly isn’t saying much nowadays. I feel very fortunate.
I am not a contract attorney because I’m lazy or incompetent but because it’s the best thing for me to be right now. Since I graduated 4 years ago, I have watched many on my friends become disillusioned with the law and leave the practice entirely. It saddens me to see brilliant young legal minds beaten down so early in their careers, saddled with insurmountable debt, with their dreams shattered. Sometimes they burn out, sometimes they get laid off, or sometimes they are outright fired. They usually work in jobs doing something they don’t like in areas they avoided in law school that won’t prepare them to do what they really want when they leave. So I wonder if I’m really in worse position because I have been working as a contract attorney?
I have a steady paycheck with insurance, 401k, and paid holidays and vacations. At 30, I make a comfortable living. I have a great apartment. I can pay my bills. My life is totally flexible. I can spend as much or as little time as I want pursuing outside interests, attend bar association activities, and take time off to go on job interviews. After being here for a year, I made the decision to take the Illinois bar and was able to do so because of the flexibility of temping.
Yes, I get frustrated at times by the boring and monotonous work. I know that I am capable of doing so much more, and I would love to have a real opportunity to do so. I have to remind myself of that frequently. Whenever I am asked for the name of my law firm or for my business address, I have a sudden feeling of shame and urge to explain the nature of my work or talk about my big plans for the future. I have attended pro bono fairs attempting to volunteer only to be asked about my firm’s resources and my practice areas. Moments like this make me feel that I am not a real lawyer and can't even give my services away. I have to stop myself and remember that I am a lawyer. I went to law school. I am admitted to 4 bars. I graduated from a highly regarded law school in the top third of my class with numerous honors and accolades. I am just as capable of providing legal services as the people making $100k+ at big firms or any other attorney for that matter. I have to remember that this job is not the end only the means.
I am making my way in life, paying down my student loans, and spending every minute of my spare time following developments in the law and making myself a better lawyer. I should not really be ashamed of this, but I feel like the scourge of the legal profession. I have seen others leave contract work to pursue much lower paying opportunities in practice areas they don’t really enjoy because they are willing to do anything to get “a year of experience" because of the stigma of contract work. I talk to my coworkers who all feel pressure to do the same. Maybe my attitude is different because I actually practiced law before becoming a temp, but I think that experience is only really experience if it is helping to prepare you for the job that you want. I don’t think it would be fair the firm, my clients, or myself to take a job that I don’t feel comfortable doing. I have to trust my instincts, and for now I will continue doing what I’m doing. After all I’m only 30.
